Our annual trip to Scooterist Meltdown was unfortunately cancelled due to the “C” word. There was only one thing left to do, to go and see Dani and Tomás, in Palma at Loco Wheels.
Dani wanted to organise some weekend trips, so this was the perfect opportunity to be the scooter guinea pigs. The motto of Renegades Scooter Riders is “Never ride alone.” Apt really, as it was formed three years earlier at Scooterist Meltdown, during an AGM meltdown.
“Right, who’s coming?” Rochdale, Oldham Globetrotters, Stockport Crusaders, Warrington SC, Southport Sandgrounders, Salford Knights and a few “clueless, clubless riders.” 14 scooterists and 13 scooters. Not leaving little Colin behind, as always in Europe he jumped pillion with me. What could possibly go wrong? 14 of us, in a foreign country with alcohol involved! What happens in Palma, stays in Palma… then ends up on the Renegades Facebook page and gets featured on Scooterlab.UK.
A cheap weekend away?
First thing is to organise a price and for Dani to source accommodation, plan a route, organise the back up van and have a few pesetas left over to feed their kids. Flying was easy, we took the “Award-Winning” airline, the price included 10kg of cabin luggage (wheely bags) and we all took our own helmets, all for just £86 (helmets are available at Loco Wheels though if you don’t want to take your own). A pre-trip meet in Manchester, where we organised covid test requirements, shared lifts to the airport, airport parking, NHS certificates, lounge passes, minibus in Palma and all other bare essentials. We were ready to fly.
Dani worked wonders, Lambretta and Scomadi hire, two nights accommodation in Palma and a night in Port d’Alcúdia in between. Breakfasts in Palma and all-inclusive, including beer in Port d’Alcúdia. Total costs were 320€ (£270) and 150€ for Colin as a pillion.
It started in Manchester T2, half a dozen got to the airport and hit the lounge, the other 8 were drinking in the nearest bar. Seamless time at the airport, duty-free and onboard. Jet 2 airline seated us all together, it was “banter-ful”. 4 cans of Stella and a lot of laughter later we arrived at Palma. The minibus was waiting and dropped us off in the centre of Palma. We arrived at 11.00 local time, so the rooms weren’t ready, but we found a very sociable bar next to our digs ‘Brick Palma’… the drinks started flowing.
The owner of the hotel, Joaquin found us and sorted our rooms. For the right price it was three to a room and all on beds, no sofabeds. The Stockport Crusaders were the big winners choosing to share with me – funny how they didn’t put their hands up to share with Howard (centre in photo above).
When in Palma
Once settled in we did the sites of Palma, the old town, the beautiful cathedral and searching out somewhere to watch the “Boro” win. A lot of sightseeing, walking, drinking, sleeping in bars and eating before we got back to the Brick.
Doug is certainly packing something extra into that old t-shirt…
Time to really start drinking. Sporting an “S” Type t-shirt, Birchy exclaimed that he had an 80s original. I told him I had one too and could get it before the weekend was over for a small bet. The wager was done, I sneaked upstairs and got my cut-off t-shirt that fitted me in the 80s, Birchy paid up and Mark said I “Rocked it!”. The bar was buzzing well after midnight, soon we all started going to bed. Andy from Southport, and Sean from the Crusaders, were some of the last up – little did we know why until the next day.
Let’s ride!
We had a 10am start, with a 5-minute walk to Loco Wheels. Waiting for us were 10 Lambrettas, 3 Scomadis, plus Dani and Tomás riding theirs.
Coops didn’t have a ‘big boys’ licence, so he needed a Scomadi, Huey was a late addition to the trip so he had one as well and Sean put his hands up for one in our Manchester meeting as he rode a GTS back home. We had Pep in the backup van with all our bags and two spare Scomadis, it was like a Christmas episode of Top Gear, whoever broke their Lammy (and the maestro Tomás could not fix it) – got the Scomadi.
Palma is a city like, Manchester, Leeds, London, etc., so with 15 scooters and Scomadis and a backup van it would be hard staying together. We ended up in three groups as my Lambretta flooded at the lights. Setting off, I stuck behind Tomás and we soon got to the edge of the city.
Bringing our own helmets, meant that some of the others had Bluetooth, which helped them stay together. Barry from Southport and five others followed the van to a pre-arranged meeting place. When we all met up in Santa Maria for a beer/coffee, we realised there were two riders missing. Andy on his pseudo-Spanish Series 1 and Sean on his Scomadi… yup, was it planned you are asking? After 20 minutes of Sean riding with his iPhone wedged in his helmet we told them where we were meeting for lunch. So those two had an hour’s jolly by themselves.
We set off to Maria de Salut, we did not touch an A road, mainly B roads and cycle tracks. To get a great feel of it, check out Dave Roughley’s video on the Renegades Facebook page. 13 scooters riding across Mallorca, with typical UK June weather was brilliant, as it was the first week in February.
No misdemeanours, except Birchy whinging about his clutch – what does he know? We arrived at our destination, Andy and Sean were already waiting with a beer. The sound of the 2 Strokes reverberated in the town square. Then it started, Dave Roughley upsetting the German locals, telling him off for pushing a scooter in the square – video No. 2 to watch on the Renegades page.
Setting off, we kept Sean and Andy at the front, so we didn’t lose them again. Once more testing roads on the island, from one extreme to another. Personally, I know Mallorca very well, but these routes were new to me.
Men at work
Two miles outside Port d’Alcúdia the road was blocked. Tomás and I discussed it and agreed it was blocked for cars only, just building a makeshift bridge, what could 15 scooters do to harm it and it was a Saturday? At this point, we realised that Birchy knew what he was talking about after all, and his clutch cable snapped, a quick change by Tomás whilst a few took a toilet break in the fields. Then it was over the roadworks we went.
All-inclusive
We arrived at the hotel Alcúdia Gardens, at this time we did not realise it was two to an apartment… and was all-inclusive and there was a gym/indoor pool if anyone wanted it. A quick shower, down to the bar, collect all the money that people owed to Loco Wheels for different extras like t-shirts.
A few drinks, 4 courses (or more) of buffet, a few beers and wine then back to the hotel bar for some amination. Half of us went to bed and half of us were drinking spirits like they were going out of fashion. When the quiz night finished with all the cyclists and families, the bar closed, and we found another bar in front of the hotel. That was closing at 12.30, but as a contingent from Southport, Warrington, St Helens and Manchester were on a session – it stayed open. Too late for me now, so as always, Andy and Sean were left to their own devices.
Bring out the moped
From here to Pollença, it did feel nice, going up and down the route to sea level. Then it happened – Dutch had broken his Lambretta. He limped it to a viewpoint car park, where Pep and the van were waiting… we had no beer and needed lunch so out came the Scomadi 50, in went the 200 Lince Lammy, cue camera and Howard, video to die for. At the square in Pollença, a quick beer, courtesy of Loco and then a trip, down unmade cycle lanes to Llosetta. We went to a bar called C’an Bestard, where the owner had a chrome Scomadi, but more importantly food. Again, have what you want, steaks, cordon bleu, pizzas, chicken, drinks, coffees and desserts all on Loco Wheels.
Tomás said ‘there are two routes back, a quick one…’, I jumped in and said the quick one. 30-45 minutes back to Palma. Again, we got split up, but in two or three groups. Sean had a Lammy for the second day but of course it packed up. We all believed it thought it was an auto. Dani got off, kicked it over, it started and off they went. We were soon back at Loco Wheels putting the scooters away, already reminiscing about the two days we’d experienced. It was just awesome.
Waiting for Dani and Tomás, we stayed in the hotel bar, drinking and eating all night long. The boys left us around 11pm-12.00, not a clue what time we started drifting to the rooms.
Monday, 08:00 breakfast, 09:00 minibus, 11:20 flight and beers. Straight through departure lounge, beers, McDonalds then breakfast on the plane.
14 lads, from 14 different backgrounds, different towns, making new friends and enjoying the banter. Honestly, there was not one crossed word all weekend just everyone enjoying the craic.
I am quite sure that the 14 of us could not recommend enough a weekend away with Loco Wheels. They were always there to help, they ate with us, got their hands dirty with us, drunk with us and rode with us. We could not thank them enough. There will be a Loco Wheels Part 3 for the Renegades and the lads are currently getting another two Lammies on the road. If you want to get away high or low season, this is brilliant. I preferred the guided tour for two days, rather the one day guided and one-day free riding. We got to see the island instead of going in and out of Palma.
A trip like this is not there to replace scooter rallies or events, it is there for a weekend away with like-minded people, or just hiring one scooter to take your partner out for the day.
Words: Doug Turner
Photos: Nick Jackson
