Still need to go on a scooter rally abroad? Wondering what you’re missing? Self confessed party animal and confirmed continental rally nut Geoff Panic gives an insight into the Celtic Run held in Brittany over the weekend of 9th to 11th June 2017. With a great DJ line up, great weather and Oyster sampling what’s not to like?
Words and photos: Geoff Panic
Lack of organisation
As is usual for my scooter club a complete lack of organisation meant that I hadn’t got my arse in gear to book boats, leave or a place to stay this year, so had resigned myself to the fact I wouldn’t be attending the Celtic rally. That is until a message from Dave of the Lowriders arrived a week before saying someone had dropped out of their trip and did I want their place? Ferry and accommodation all booked It was hard to say no, so I errrr…… didn’t.
Busted Lammy and Fleetwood Mac covers
Unfortunately, the Lammy still hadn’t been sorted since my breakdown at Weston so, yet again the Peugeot work hack was pressed into last minute service, and a quick blast to Plymouth found us on the legendary overnight party ferry to Roscoff with the south west massive. I’m sure the cabaret entertainers love it when they find out they are entertaining fifty scooterists who are determined to enjoy the talents of a lovely young lady singing Fleetwood Mac covers.
It’s bleeding hot and we’ve still got 17 miles to do.
Erm, titting about on the beach
A whole lotta miles
After keeping up with the exploits of club members and others going to Euro Lambretta via Facebook it was a bit embarrassing to report that we had an eye watering thirty whole miles to ride to the site in the now blistering heat of northern France, so we did what we normally do and indulged in some top ‘titting about’, several lunches, a trip to the beach and more strong coffees than is really safe for middle aged men who have just eaten cheese.
Obligatory club sticker bombing
St Efflam the venue
The rally site at St Efflam is an outward-bound centre for kids (strangely apt really) but with plenty of space for camping plus some basic dormitories and rooms it had all you needed for Scooterists who always know how to make their own entertainment. A mid-afternoon trip to the sleepy local Tabac developed into the now obligatory ‘who could get their club sticker the highest’ competition. I thought I had it nailed when I found a way to climb up on the balcony but was soon eclipsed by Beef from the Lowriders whose Au Naturel effort left little to the imagination, Sacre Bleu! The owner took this all in his stride however, and as the place was rammed all weekend and he was charging 10 Euros for two pints he has probably retired on the proceeds by now.
Lidl plunderers and blue light dancers
With the local Lidl plundered for beer, wine, cheese and baguettes, the site now looked like a who’s got the best picnic competition and a thoroughly civilised time was had by all, chatting scooters and watching the sun go down as Emma Cox fired up the decks in the do and the party really got started. The rest of the evening was a smoke machined blur apart from the lights going on for an hour for the local paramedics to fix up one lad who had a fall and banged his head. (not too serious I’m happy to report) The rumours that one scooterist was seen dancing to the flashing blue lights of the ambulance for half an hour, thinking he had made it to a club were, I’m assured, completely fictitious.
Look Ma, no legs
Fish phlegm anyone?
Ride out to the oysters
There’s only one proper way of curing a hangover and settling your stomach and that’s to don your best armoured shorts and head out on the mass rideout to ‘Bistropopop’ in Locquirec for Oyster tasting. Having never had an oyster I thought I’d better see what I have been missing all these years. It would appear all I had missed was salty fish mucus so I didn’t feel that hard done by. The sight of some very tasty scooters winding through the Brittany countryside gave me a chance to marvel at the beauty of one of my favourite parts of the world whilst snapping some pics on the way back to the site.
Silly games good clean fun
One thing the French have always excelled at, apart from tasty large frame streetracers is the silly games and as the afternoon came around two gladiators were chosen from each scooter club to compete for honour on the battlefield. Just imagine the seething homo-eroticism of the volleyball scene in Top Gun just with more Dr Martens and tattoos.
Throw in some homemade broom handle hobby horses, lots of beer, some fairy liquid and thirty-foot-long plastic sheet and you have the makings of a fine afternoon of entertainment. Much hilarity ensued, with most sporting some sort of injury by the end. All good clean fun.
Saturday’s best Peugeot
Unfortunately, as these things go chilling in the field, drinking and chatting meant I completely missed the Do on Saturday along with the custom show results although I know Romuald took best scooter for his fat tyred grey cutdown also I think the very drunk guy on his peddle powered moped scuppered my chance of the ‘best Peugeot’ trophy. Judging by the photos the next morning I’m quite glad to say I also missed the Southern templars naked shower cap soiree, what is it with Brits and nudity?
Sunday’s dawning ferry bound
Sunday dawned much too early and saw lots of different groups of tired and bright red scooterists criss crossing Brittany on the way to the ferry for a much-needed sleep before we got back to Blighty with no major troubles to report and with easily fixable niggles.
Cheers to The Lowriders for letting me join you and to the rest of my extended British and French scootering family for a much-needed top weekend.
Huge thanks to the Celtic scooter club and especially Patrick who can never do enough for us. Top work mon ami.
Geoff Panic
Additional pictures by Sandy Moo
Rallery
Lack of organisation
As is usual for my scooter club a complete lack of organisation meant that I hadn’t got my arse in gear to book boats, leave or a place to stay this year, so had resigned myself to the fact I wouldn’t be attending the Celtic rally. That is until a message from Dave of the Lowriders arrived a week before saying someone had dropped out of their trip and did I want their place? Ferry and accommodation all booked It was hard to say no, so I errrr…… didn’t.
Busted Lammy and Fleetwood Mac covers
Unfortunately, the Lammy still hadn’t been sorted since my breakdown at Weston so, yet again the Peugeot work hack was pressed into last minute service, and a quick blast to Plymouth found us on the legendary overnight party ferry to Roscoff with the south west massive. I’m sure the cabaret entertainers love it when they find out they are entertaining fifty scooterists who are determined to enjoy the talents of a lovely young lady singing Fleetwood Mac covers.
A whole lotta miles
After keeping up with the exploits of club members and others going to Euro Lambretta via Facebook it was a bit embarrassing to report that we had an eye watering thirty whole miles to ride to the site in the now blistering heat of northern France, so we did what we normally do and indulged in some top ‘titting about’, several lunches, a trip to the beach and more strong coffees than is really safe for middle aged men who have just eaten cheese.
St Efflam the venue
The rally site at St Efflam is an outward-bound centre for kids (strangely apt really) but with plenty of space for camping plus some basic dormitories and rooms it had all you needed for Scooterists who always know how to make their own entertainment. A mid-afternoon trip to the sleepy local Tabac developed into the now obligatory ‘who could get their club sticker the highest’ competition. I thought I had it nailed when I found a way to climb up on the balcony but was soon eclipsed by Beef from the Lowriders whose Au Naturel effort left little to the imagination, Sacre Bleu! The owner took this all in his stride however, and as the place was rammed all weekend and he was charging 10 Euros for two pints he has probably retired on the proceeds by now.
Lidl plunderers and blue light dancers
With the local Lidl plundered for beer, wine, cheese and baguettes, the site now looked like a who’s got the best picnic competition and a thoroughly civilised time was had by all, chatting scooters and watching the sun go down as Emma Cox fired up the decks in the do and the party really got started. The rest of the evening was a smoke machined blur apart from the lights going on for an hour for the local paramedics to fix up one lad who had a fall and banged his head. (not too serious I’m happy to report) The rumours that one scooterist was seen dancing to the flashing blue lights of the ambulance for half an hour, thinking he had made it to a club were, I’m assured, completely fictitious.
Ride out to the oysters
There’s only one proper way of curing a hangover and settling your stomach and that’s to don your best armoured shorts and head out on the mass rideout to ‘Bistropopop’ in Locquirec for Oyster tasting. Having never had an oyster I thought I’d better see what I have been missing all these years. It would appear all I had missed was salty fish mucus so I didn’t feel that hard done by. The sight of some very tasty scooters winding through the Brittany countryside gave me a chance to marvel at the beauty of one of my favourite parts of the world whilst snapping some pics on the way back to the site.
Silly games good clean fun
One thing the French have always excelled at, apart from tasty large frame streetracers is the silly games and as the afternoon came around two gladiators were chosen from each scooter club to compete for honour on the battlefield. Just imagine the seething homo-eroticism of the volleyball scene in Top Gun just with more Dr Martens and tattoos.
Throw in some homemade broom handle hobby horses, lots of beer, some fairy liquid and thirty-foot-long plastic sheet and you have the makings of a fine afternoon of entertainment. Much hilarity ensued, with most sporting some sort of injury by the end. All good clean fun.
Saturday’s best Peugeot
Unfortunately, as these things go chilling in the field, drinking and chatting meant I completely missed the Do on Saturday along with the custom show results although I know Romuald took best scooter for his fat tyred grey cutdown also I think the very drunk guy on his peddle powered moped scuppered my chance of the ‘best Peugeot’ trophy. Judging by the photos the next morning I’m quite glad to say I also missed the Southern templars naked shower cap soiree, what is it with Brits and nudity?
Sunday’s dawning ferry bound
Sunday dawned much too early and saw lots of different groups of tired and bright red scooterists criss crossing Brittany on the way to the ferry for a much-needed sleep before we got back to Blighty with no major troubles to report and with easily fixable niggles.
Cheers to The Lowriders for letting me join you and to the rest of my extended British and French scootering family for a much-needed top weekend.
Huge thanks to the Celtic scooter club and especially Patrick who can never do enough for us. Top work mon ami.
Geoff Panic
Additional pictures by Sandy Moo
