The rollicking roller-coaster of scooter-based silliness that is Scooterist Meltdown reached boiling-point this time, on our 5th visit to the Dutch-run holiday camp in a German nuclear power-station.
This year was the biggest so far in terms of numbers attending from all over Europe for a weekend of all-inclusive debauchery. Numbers attending by scooter though, seemed to be on the decline. You never know what sort of weather you are going to get in early February and with flights from £20 out of Stansted, I’m not surprised that many chose to fly.
Lost in a Grolsch-haze
Our club bucked the trend and rode up to the Hull ferry in remarkably temperate conditions. Sharing our boat were a few other scooters, mostly from Yorkshire, including those of Logistical Nightmares SC, of whom two play with The Superlatives.
After a painless trek across Holland, co-organiser Mareike greeted us with the traditional glass of schapps. Once inside there is no use for your wallet, unless you want to buy some scooter parts from the ever-expanding Saturday parts fair.
The Superlatives
Freshened-up
The problem of going back to events in the same venue time after time should henceforth be known as ‘Déjà Do’, but Spirit of 84 Scooterists have been organising events long enough to appreciate the need the mix things up a bit to avoid this phenomenon.
To me, the buffet selection seemed better this year, not only in terms of food, but also music. At 9pm both nights an extra room was opened in the maze of connected buildings, specifically to host the bands. For Friday it was the turn of the freshly defrosted Superlatives and their gritty mix of self-penned numbers, with the odd cover from the likes of the Stone Roses and Arctic Monkeys thrown in for good measure.
61hp on the dyno…
For those that don’t know The Superlatives, they’ve sound-tracked many of our SLUK videos (such as this) and secured a gig at Meltdown on that basis. Any other unsigned bands who want to help us out with music for our videos, please take note!
Needless to say with a compact room packed to the back, only with people who wanted to see a band, they went down a storm.
Besides the band arena you had a Ska saloon, the main sticky-floored scooterist tunes room and the Darkside Dungeon. In other words; more choice than enough.
Started in public for the first time
Meltdown madness
Daytime Drama
Added attractions for Saturday’s show included a dyno shoot-out where all the kings of the German sprint scene were able to show off their tuning skills in a virtual comparison of cock-length.
How skilled are they?
Jesco’s Malossi PX engined sprinter clocked over 50hp and a really radical Ski-doo cylindered smallframe beastie measured over 60hp!
These figures left the Casa Performance boys’ 46hp from their bolt-on SSR250 somewhat further down the table than they expected. For some reason they didn’t like my suggestion of a “not quite as powerful as a German Malossi PX” sticker for the bottom of the number-plate.
Roughly translated ‘strip schnaps bar’
Speaking of cock-length comparison, some areas of German humour left the Brits bemused, not least of that the DBM sprint organisation’s stand, where you would be given free schnapps only while you stood with your tackle out. This particular ‘bar’ was shielded by a screen with a gap in it, so all that could be seen from the outside was a row of bare, arses. At least the women liked it.
Rimini Lambretta Centre did however provide the undoubted star of the show in the first public starting of the deafening Lambretta Siluro record breaker, on loan from the Panini Collection. They also had a few previously unseen Casa Performance goodies on display but we’ll show you them separately on SLUK.
The long day in the hall was punctuated by silly games, awards and stage invasions by the Superlatives and Bristol-based rock/soul outfit The 45s. I expected the bands to go down well in the hall, but really they provided a little-too-loud interruption to peple happily chatting and drinking.
Only in the evening, and given the same small venue, was I able to witness the true magnetism of The 45s over a crowd as they enthralled the Irish Bar.
The 45s
Crossed Wires
One of the great things about mixing different nationalities of scooterists like this, is delighting in the bits that don’t gel perfectly.
One of the Chestwaders from Cumbria had regaled us with some bad gags on Saturday night:
I got taken to court for having sex with dogs. The judge was disgusted and said ‘how low will you stoop?’, so I told him I’ve shagged Jack Russells.
This works fine amongst fellow Brits, but when his club-mate tried to tell the same joke to a German (who was also a vet), he chose to swap ‘Jack Russells’ for the internationally better-known dog brand ‘Chihuahuas’.
The German vet misheard the punch-line.
“You had sex with a dog for Two Hours? Did it bleed?”
This serious reaction was obviously far funnier than the original joke.
Reprise
Spirit of 84 have already confirmed Meltdown in 2018 for those that need to blow away the festive cobwebs. As long as they keep adding to the recipe, it’ll be worth a visit.
Sticky
Photos by Lit, Yoleila and Sticky
Photo Gallery by Lit
Gallery by Yoleila
Gallery by Sticky
SCOOTERIST MELTDOWN 2017 CUSTOM SHOW RESULTS
BEST CUSTOM SCOOTER — Lambretta PG by Schniedel
SECOND BEST CUSTOM SCOOTER — Vespa PX “Brown Sugar” by Bastian Geheimnis
BEST VESPA — VNA by Lemaron
SECOND BEST VESPA — VBB by Yo Leila
BEST LAMBRETTA — Series 1 by Darren Creek
SECOND BEST LAMBRETTA — Lui by Martin Jermann
BEST VINTAGE — Lambretta Series 1 by Phil Sinclair
BEST ODDITY — Vespa “Froschkönig” by Jan Ulrich
SECOND BEST ODDITY — Lambretta Chopper by Marco Abate
BEST DEALER SCOOTER — Ancilotti SX by Rimini Lambretta Centre
SECOND BEST DEALER SCOOTER — Lambretta Chopper by Classic Scooter
BEST RIDDEN SCOOTER — Bajaj by Sarah Wiltshire
SECOND BEST RIDDEN SCOOTER — Vespa SS 90 by Martin from Colchester
FARTHEST TRAVELLED — Ricky & Sarah Wiltshire ??????????????
BEST TURNED OUT RIDDEN CLUB — The Big 7 SC
LCGB CHOICE
BEST CONTINENTAL LAMBRETTA — GP by Schniedel
BEST UK LAMBRETTA — GP “Forest” (ridden over)
MAJOR POWER AWARDS (Most Powerful Scooter)
VESPA SMALL FRAME — 61 bhp on PK by Christoph / Michael Cramer from Kingwelle (overall winner)
VESPA LARGE FRAME — 51 bhp on PX by Jesco from Jesco Motors
The rollicking roller-coaster of scooter-based silliness that is Scooterist Meltdown reached boiling-point this time, on our 5th visit to the Dutch-run holiday camp in a German nuclear power-station.
This year was the biggest so far in terms of numbers attending from all over Europe for a weekend of all-inclusive debauchery. Numbers attending by scooter though, seemed to be on the decline. You never know what sort of weather you are going to get in early February and with flights from £20 out of Stansted, I’m not surprised that many chose to fly.
Our club bucked the trend and rode up to the Hull ferry in remarkably temperate conditions. Sharing our boat were a few other scooters, mostly from Yorkshire, including those of Logistical Nightmares SC, of whom two play with The Superlatives.
After a painless trek across Holland, co-organiser Mareike greeted us with the traditional glass of schapps. Once inside there is no use for your wallet, unless you want to buy some scooter parts from the ever-expanding Saturday parts fair.
Freshened-up
The problem of going back to events in the same venue time after time should henceforth be known as ‘Déjà Do’, but Spirit of 84 Scooterists have been organising events long enough to appreciate the need the mix things up a bit to avoid this phenomenon.
To me, the buffet selection seemed better this year, not only in terms of food, but also music. At 9pm both nights an extra room was opened in the maze of connected buildings, specifically to host the bands. For Friday it was the turn of the freshly defrosted Superlatives and their gritty mix of self-penned numbers, with the odd cover from the likes of the Stone Roses and Arctic Monkeys thrown in for good measure.
For those that don’t know The Superlatives, they’ve sound-tracked many of our SLUK videos (such as this) and secured a gig at Meltdown on that basis. Any other unsigned bands who want to help us out with music for our videos, please take note!
Needless to say with a compact room packed to the back, only with people who wanted to see a band, they went down a storm.
Besides the band arena you had a Ska saloon, the main sticky-floored scooterist tunes room and the Darkside Dungeon. In other words; more choice than enough.
Meltdown madness
Daytime Drama
Added attractions for Saturday’s show included a dyno shoot-out where all the kings of the German sprint scene were able to show off their tuning skills in a virtual comparison of cock-length.
How skilled are they?
Jesco’s Malossi PX engined sprinter clocked over 50hp and a really radical Ski-doo cylindered smallframe beastie measured over 60hp!
These figures left the Casa Performance boys’ 46hp from their bolt-on SSR250 somewhat further down the table than they expected. For some reason they didn’t like my suggestion of a “not quite as powerful as a German Malossi PX” sticker for the bottom of the number-plate.
Speaking of cock-length comparison, some areas of German humour left the Brits bemused, not least of that the DBM sprint organisation’s stand, where you would be given free schnapps only while you stood with your tackle out. This particular ‘bar’ was shielded by a screen with a gap in it, so all that could be seen from the outside was a row of bare, arses. At least the women liked it.
Rimini Lambretta Centre did however provide the undoubted star of the show in the first public starting of the deafening Lambretta Siluro record breaker, on loan from the Panini Collection. They also had a few previously unseen Casa Performance goodies on display but we’ll show you them separately on SLUK.
The long day in the hall was punctuated by silly games, awards and stage invasions by the Superlatives and Bristol-based rock/soul outfit The 45s. I expected the bands to go down well in the hall, but really they provided a little-too-loud interruption to peple happily chatting and drinking.
Only in the evening, and given the same small venue, was I able to witness the true magnetism of The 45s over a crowd as they enthralled the Irish Bar.
Crossed Wires
One of the great things about mixing different nationalities of scooterists like this, is delighting in the bits that don’t gel perfectly.
One of the Chestwaders from Cumbria had regaled us with some bad gags on Saturday night:
I got taken to court for having sex with dogs. The judge was disgusted and said ‘how low will you stoop?’, so I told him I’ve shagged Jack Russells.
This works fine amongst fellow Brits, but when his club-mate tried to tell the same joke to a German (who was also a vet), he chose to swap ‘Jack Russells’ for the internationally better-known dog brand ‘Chihuahuas’.
The German vet misheard the punch-line.
“You had sex with a dog for Two Hours? Did it bleed?”
This serious reaction was obviously far funnier than the original joke.
Reprise
Spirit of 84 have already confirmed Meltdown in 2018 for those that need to blow away the festive cobwebs. As long as they keep adding to the recipe, it’ll be worth a visit.
Sticky
Photos by Lit, Yoleila and Sticky
Photo Gallery by Lit
Gallery by Yoleila
Gallery by Sticky
SCOOTERIST MELTDOWN 2017 CUSTOM SHOW RESULTS
BEST CUSTOM SCOOTER — Lambretta PG by Schniedel
SECOND BEST CUSTOM SCOOTER — Vespa PX “Brown Sugar” by Bastian Geheimnis
BEST VESPA — VNA by Lemaron
SECOND BEST VESPA — VBB by Yo Leila
BEST LAMBRETTA — Series 1 by Darren Creek
SECOND BEST LAMBRETTA — Lui by Martin Jermann
BEST VINTAGE — Lambretta Series 1 by Phil Sinclair
BEST ODDITY — Vespa “Froschkönig” by Jan Ulrich
SECOND BEST ODDITY — Lambretta Chopper by Marco Abate
BEST DEALER SCOOTER — Ancilotti SX by Rimini Lambretta Centre
SECOND BEST DEALER SCOOTER — Lambretta Chopper by Classic Scooter
BEST RIDDEN SCOOTER — Bajaj by Sarah Wiltshire
SECOND BEST RIDDEN SCOOTER — Vespa SS 90 by Martin from Colchester
FARTHEST TRAVELLED — Ricky & Sarah Wiltshire ??????????????
BEST TURNED OUT RIDDEN CLUB — The Big 7 SC
LCGB CHOICE
BEST CONTINENTAL LAMBRETTA — GP by Schniedel
BEST UK LAMBRETTA — GP “Forest” (ridden over)
MAJOR POWER AWARDS (Most Powerful Scooter)
VESPA SMALL FRAME — 61 bhp on PK by Christoph / Michael Cramer from Kingwelle (overall winner)
VESPA LARGE FRAME — 51 bhp on PX by Jesco from Jesco Motors
